Monday, October 29, 2012

Time enough...

"The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."  -Rabindranath Tagore

I came across this quote recently and it has given me a lot to think about.  What does it mean to have "time enough"?  Is it even possible, for any of us, to feel there is enough time?  When I think about it in terms of enough time, the truth is, there isn't enough.  I'd like to think it is possible, and in fact I used to think that when I got older, much older like in my late 70s to 80s, I would reach a time when I felt it had been enough, but when I consider it in relation to my situation now, I can't see it.

When I first received my diagnosis, the main source of the overwhelming sadness was that there just wouldn't be enough time.  The sense of loss came on quickly and dragged me down into waves of tears and frustration.  Dan was awesome in helping me get through those days.  He held me through it all and kept reminding me that we had to live each day, enjoy each day, laugh each day, but that it was, of course, ok to cry too.  He said we just had to make each day count and I knew then, as I do now, that he was right.  Even though we know that this life ends in death, few of us know when the end will come until we are staring it in the face.  So, while we have the opportunity, we live and make the life we have worthwhile with all the resources we have available to us and when that isn't enough, we find a way to do more, do better, until we have achieved the success we were aiming for.  The definition of "success" is different for all of us, but the desire to succeed at this life is deeply rooted in most of us.

The more I thought about having enough time to do, say, share, be all that I want with those who mean everything to me I realized that no, there is not enough time, maybe there could never be.  However, knowing that time is all we have, I came to the conclusion that it might be possible to have time enough to enjoy the moments that make lasting memories, to share the love that is never ending, to impart the knowledge that life is what you make of it so make sure you don't wait for the "right time" but just make the time right.  It is all in the perspective you take.  There may never be enough time, but after a lot of thought I now feel that, just maybe, there can be time enough and so for now, that is something to strive for. 

1 comment:

  1. Chrystie - GEEZE Girl! You are so amazing! I have no words...I just read your blog to Bill a loud. I'm sitting here crying - with a deep sense of appreciation...for the wisdom and the courage to so honestly express yourself. THANK YOU! You are Grace, and Wisdom, and Encouragement, and so full of meaning and life - that is Rich and I appreciate it!

    With Love,