Tuesday, May 8, 2012

A Little Fractured…

My hubby and I walk our dog on the beach every morning.  We walk hand in hand, throwing the ball for Harly and laughing at his antics along the way.  I love the feeling of the ocean washing over my feet as the sand gently gives below me and the sun shines warmly on my skin.  It is one of the best parts of my daily routine and it feeds my soul in a special way. 

Today, while walking on the beach, I stopped to pick up a shell that was buried in the sand under the surf.  I often pick up shells on our morning walks but this one was unusual.  I don't really bother with the larger shells anymore because they are almost always small pieces that aren't worth the time.  However, this morning a larger shell caught my eye and after taking a step past it, I turned back to pick it up.  I was surprised to find a mostly intact conch shell.  There was a piece missing from the outside but my first thought was that it was just fractured, kind of like me. 

I realized that this is how I feel at the moment; mostly intact but fractured.  Ten days ago I still believed that the doctors would give me news that offered a treatment.  My head is spinning with what they actually said.  I don't feel any different today than before the diagnosis, except for the deep sadness that can overwhelm me at any given moment.  At other times, I am overcome with absolute hope that encourages me to believe I will be one of the lucky ones, which I trust I will be.

Fractured, but not broken.  


  1. Sam - I love you more than you can imagine!

  2. This is how I see - Sam as a shell .... curls and all