Tuesday, May 8, 2012
A Little Fractured…
Today, while walking on the beach, I stopped to pick up a shell that was buried in the sand under the surf. I often pick up shells on our morning walks but this one was unusual. I don't really bother with the larger shells anymore because they are almost always small pieces that aren't worth the time. However, this morning a larger shell caught my eye and after taking a step past it, I turned back to pick it up. I was surprised to find a mostly intact conch shell. There was a piece missing from the outside but my first thought was that it was just fractured, kind of like me.
I realized that this is how I feel at the moment; mostly intact but fractured. Ten days ago I still believed that the doctors would give me news that offered a treatment. My head is spinning with what they actually said. I don't feel any different today than before the diagnosis, except for the deep sadness that can overwhelm me at any given moment. At other times, I am overcome with absolute hope that encourages me to believe I will be one of the lucky ones, which I trust I will be.
Fractured, but not broken.